The Guilt is A Gift
You've fallen again.
It's the same problem over and over. A feeling. A relationship. A habit. An addiction. A desire. The same thing you've been surrendering over and over - and you want to give it up. You really do. But when it's staring at you in the face, you just can't find it in you.
And now you're bothered because you gave in again. You pray to the Father for strength to resist - and He delivers. He's always giving you a way out. He's in your head and your heart, giving you the power to say no. Pero alam mo ngang mali; naririnig mo na boses Niya - wala ka pa ring ginagawa.
Saan na napunta lahat ng natutunan mo galing sa Sunday School? Whatever happened to "God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" (Ps 73:26)? Diba ikaw yung active sa (insert ministry of preference)? Nag True Love Waits ka pa naman. Aren't you that guy who goes to (insert church)? Ikaw yung nagsabi sa mga anak mo na masama gawin yan, diba? Where did all those lessons you learned and even nodded your head to during Sunday Service go? Were they all for nothing?
You pray the day would never come when He'd have to slap you silly before you really wake up -- but you're not even doing anything about it.
Before you begin to hit your head on the pavement again, there's something you should know: The guilt feels terrible, that's true. But that's only because that's your new nature fighting with the old one.
Your guilt is a gift. You struggle because there is a war inside of you. And when you let the flesh win, the Spirit grieves. And that's what's bothering you.
And if you aren't bothered - is the Spirit really in you?
You say you hate the feeling. Stop giving yourself a reason for having it. So before you start sulking saying how horrible a person you are, don't. Get up and try harder. Because if you've been Transformed - act like you really have.
It's the same problem over and over. A feeling. A relationship. A habit. An addiction. A desire. The same thing you've been surrendering over and over - and you want to give it up. You really do. But when it's staring at you in the face, you just can't find it in you.
And now you're bothered because you gave in again. You pray to the Father for strength to resist - and He delivers. He's always giving you a way out. He's in your head and your heart, giving you the power to say no. Pero alam mo ngang mali; naririnig mo na boses Niya - wala ka pa ring ginagawa.
Saan na napunta lahat ng natutunan mo galing sa Sunday School? Whatever happened to "God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" (Ps 73:26)? Diba ikaw yung active sa (insert ministry of preference)? Nag True Love Waits ka pa naman. Aren't you that guy who goes to (insert church)? Ikaw yung nagsabi sa mga anak mo na masama gawin yan, diba? Where did all those lessons you learned and even nodded your head to during Sunday Service go? Were they all for nothing?
You pray the day would never come when He'd have to slap you silly before you really wake up -- but you're not even doing anything about it.
Before you begin to hit your head on the pavement again, there's something you should know: The guilt feels terrible, that's true. But that's only because that's your new nature fighting with the old one.
"But I say, walk by the Spirit, and do not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh; for these are opposed to each other, to prevent you from doing what you would. But if you are led by the Spirit you are not under the law." - Galatians 5:16-18
Your guilt is a gift. You struggle because there is a war inside of you. And when you let the flesh win, the Spirit grieves. And that's what's bothering you.
And if you aren't bothered - is the Spirit really in you?
You say you hate the feeling. Stop giving yourself a reason for having it. So before you start sulking saying how horrible a person you are, don't. Get up and try harder. Because if you've been Transformed - act like you really have.
"For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me."
ReplyDelete"But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness."
Romans 7:19-20 and 8:10. :)
"Your guilt is a gift" -exactly.
ReplyDeleteDeb, your blog entries are wonderful. :)
*crying inside now*
ReplyDeletethis is exactly how I've been feeling. and yes, He has given us the power to say no to sin. I wish I'd receive it and learn to depend on it with my whole life. :|
there's hope for me in this one.