There Is No God's Best

God's Best (or GB) was a term that was often used in the church I grew up in. It was their version of what most of the world recognizes as "The One" - or the person you would end up spending the rest of your life with.

The ideas are pretty similar - believing that there is that one special person God prepared for you in advance to have and to hold, 'til death do you part. Growing up, there was a lot of emphasis that was placed on finding your "God's Best" - and it wasn't just coming from the media. It just so happened that the church community I belonged to was just as passionate about it and played a huge role in shaping my views on dating and marriage. I knew other churches and ministries elsewhere were doing the same.

Books, workshops, and just about anything that recommended to forego dating (by waiting and jumping straight into marriage) were highly praised and recommended. Sometimes during youth services or on Sunday mornings, a couple would be asked to come up to the pulpit and share their testimony of how their courtship went. Often, these couples would talk about how the Lord confirmed that they could move forward in their relationship by revealing a Bible verse to them, or flashing a sign (like a rainbow, or something the other person would do or say). Also, there was this thing called "The List". Someone had suggested creating a list of qualities you wanted to have in a spouse, and if he/she didn't meet those qualifications, then that isn't God's Best for you.

As these testimonies continued to be shared, more and more people started to take these examples quite literally. It wasn't that these things were wrong, or unrealistic. It's just that (unbeknownst to me at the time) value was placed on these unique and singular events mainly as patterns to be followed, rather than the principles behind them. Pretty soon, everyone was placing unnecessary pressure on each other and missed the point altogether. Individuals were left wondering why they were still lonely, or worse - left heart broken in spite of having followed the patterns down to a T.


To be honest, I'm not quite sure if this is still happening in those circles today. I realize that some of the people from my generation have already graduated from this phase. But I know this is a topic that still remains pretty relevant. There are still others who are left wanting and waiting. And even more so in the next generation, who are picking up after us and learning from my generation's mistakes. So in the next set of posts, I want to be able to talk about the experiences I had growing up as I watched (and also personally witnessed) the Lord debunk and redefine all of these patterns and notions in my heart.


My goal for this series isn't to discourage or stop anyone from finding a suitable partner, but instead offer some perspective back into the effort. Perhaps others might have heard these things before; to the rest, it could be totally new, but I think we could all agree that we need a refresher every now and then.

With that said, I think it's important to note that the posts I will publish won't be THE end-all, be-all regarding this matter. While the topic of relationships has always been near and dear to my heart, I am not the expert on these things. My personal testimony as a Christian has a lot to do with relationships, but that's not to say that I have it all figured out. What I can promise however is that writing about it today will be vastly different from how I used to write about it in the past. Mostly because the things I will write about will no longer be just from personal experience or opinions, but will be adapted from books or articles I have read more recently which has shaped the way I view relationships today. People who have been there and walked that path ahead of me. Most of all, I've turned to a greater source for wisdom on these things, which is Scripture.

I'm excited at the thought of teaching others what I have learned over time. I hope you can all join me. If you'd like to read through them, I've listed the links to each post below:

1. Seeking Confirmation
2. How Lists can be Limiting 
3. Finding Someone Who Loves Jesus More Than You
3. Being Complete In The Gospel