No God's Best: Complete

I know, I know. This post is coming in a week late. I accidentally skipped a week and forgot to post anything since it was just one of those extremely hectic work weeks. Also, admittedly, I found myself pretty stumped on what to publish. Writing this series was truly no easy feat. I had wrestled a lot with my own understanding of these topics to try and present them as objectively, and as close to how I understood it from Scripture as possible. See, when I write, I can only do so from one perspective - my own; so all I can tell people as they read along is of the things I've learned and how far I've come. However, I was certain I didn't want it to be just another blurb you find on the internet of "what worked for me". I was determined to come in as someone with authority.

Much of that authority was tested during that process. In His sovereignty, God allowed me to enter situations where I was immensely humbled. Everything, from what I knew, to what I felt, and who I was - was challenged and strengthened within that period of time.

Interestingly enough, at some point, while I was writing the last post just before this one, someone jokingly quipped how I had become such an "expert" on the matter of relationships and submission. I think they meant it to encourage me, but in all honesty, I felt embarrassed by the feedback. Especially in light of my (then) current circumstances. I was being taught to stop relying on myself and submit to the true Authority of God through His Scriptures - and that's always a hard lesson. I thanked my friend for the compliment, yet knew that deep down, my true nature was a far cry from what she believed me to be. It was humbling to realize that I knew so little about these things and still have so much to learn.


NOT FINISHED YET
That goes for all of us. We are all works in progress - people made up of different stories still being written, traditions still being defined, and choices that are still being decided. Where we stand today derives from the result of all those things. Or as one of my favorite preachers puts it: "our life is a summary of promises made - both the broken and the fulfilled." And yet, in spite of knowing all this, we still like to walk around like we own the earth and everything, or every one, we come across is subject to our thoughts, feelings, and demands. We know we're not perfect, but we'd like people to think that we are.

Consider the way this kind of attitude affects our relationships with other people - let alone people we've lived with our whole lives. Consider that those same people will treat you the same way. That was the point of this whole series. To show us that there is no such thing as finding someone to be your God's Best. And acknowledging that not even we ourselves can fir that mold. If you've been reading along this whole time and all you did was extract some new principles on how to get into a relationship, then we've missed the point. When we live for ourselves and seek our pleasure, even the most well-meaning intentions can be more selfish than we'd like to think - no matter how much we try to mask it in Christian vernacular.


SUBMISSION IS FREEDOM
The point of this series was to show us how much we need the gospel. Every principle, whether it came from a pastor, a relationship coach, a counselor, or a measly blog writer such as myself; every point we've ever offered pales in comparison to the power and authority of the Word of God. It serves as a mirror to help us see and examine ourselves clearly (James 1:23-25); a probe and scalpel that discerns our thoughts and intentions and cuts through the heart (Hebrews 4:12); and a light that guides us on our way (Psalm 119:105). As Christians, we willingly place ourselves under the Authority of God's Word, because we have tasted and seen for ourselves how good and delightful it is to do so. What I'm discovering is that as my love for the Lord increases, my heart takes joy in obeying Him. And the more I obey, the more my love for Him increases. So everything - from the way we date, all the way to how we marry - WILL be out of my desire to submit to Him - love is the cause of obedience. And it is the Gospel of grace that enables me to do so.

Furthermore, in the Gospel, we put covenantal relationships back in its proper perspective: not as the pinnacle of our human existence, but as an image that bears the resemblance of the way Christ loves the Church: tender, forgiving, and sacrificial. God's Best is not found in the form of a human partner, but is found only in Jesus. And I don't mean that in a romantic sort of way. Jesus is not my lover, as how some groups illustrate Him to be. His love may be vast, but to reduce it to the kind of love that say, my boyfriend feels towards me would be a huge disgrace and misrepresentation.

When we live according to the Gospel, we are free to cease striving for pleasures that are temporary and damaging. Because we know that a far superior treasure exists in the person of Jesus Christ. Paul David Tripp wrote how "grace lives at the intersection between clarity of sight and hope for the future". It is grace that allows us to behold Him, and beholding Him is enough to satisfy. We do away with our lists, and our dream guys/girls. We stop chasing after vain glories, or earthly success. We aim higher - to see Christ clearly. To see Christ in each other. To see Christ all around.

To see Christ is to be complete.

"The purpose of God's grace is not to make your little kingdom of one work better. The purpose of God's grace is to free you from your slavery to YOU so that you can live for a much, much better kingdom. Real freedom is only found when God's grace liberated you to live for One infinitely greater than you."

RESOURCES

Hope you guys enjoyed this series! As promised, here's one last batch of recommendations for you to consider if you'd like to know more on a biblical view of Marriage:

Books:
Marry Wisely, Marry Well by Ernie Baker - a good book particularly for singles!

Lasting Love by Alistair Begg - Alistair is one of my favorites because I often listen to his program, Truth For Life, when I drive to work. Much of my understanding of God's work and the gospel is thanks to him.

The Meaning Of Marriage by Tim Keller - Summary from Amazon: this book shows everyone—Christians, skeptics, singles, longtime married couples, and those about to be engaged—the vision of what marriage should be according to the Bible. Good for both singles and married couple to do together!


Conferences and Seminars:
Family Life Today is another program I often listen to while driving to work. They've discussed quite a number of topics, raging from marriage to parenting, and more - and have invited several notable guests who have provided "help and hope" to many people, including myself - considering that I am a single, Christian millennial who has no children or husband of her own yet. (YET! haha)

I often hear the hosts, Dennis and Bob, talking about these conferences that they host annually in different states across the country. The Weekend To Remember and The Art of Marriage Seminar were made to help couples understand God's design for marriage, and provide them practical guidance on how to navigate through it. I've heard them talk about it so much, and have listened to excerpts of those talks so often, that I am personally recommending everyone to go - even if I've never been to one myself haha. Perhaps some day.

Perhaps there will be a time when I can revisit these things and give some fresh insight, but that is clearly for another season of my life. Until then..

Blessings,
D