To Die is Gain

Sorry I haven't updated in the longest time. I think it's been almost a month since my last blog post. :( School and work has really kept me busy. In fact, so busy that I admittedly would miss out on my own quiet moments with God in the morning.

I'm not proud of this. Although I'm mega-thankful to Jesus for carrying me through college and helping me in my big event that i'm preparing for this April, my walk with Him hasn't been at it's best. I realized that missing out on spending time with Him really took a toll on me. I began to question my purpose and why everything and everyone in my life seemed to be falling apart, in spite of my success realized in the end that by leaving God out of the picture, everything I was doing amounted to zero.

I finally got the chance to do my quiet time today, only because I find myself in the same rut that inspires me to draw back to Jesus. He always seems to find a way to lead me here when He wants me to realize that I desperately need Him. I feel a little like Jacob, limping after a wrestling match with God.


I'm learning to live out Paul's words in Philippians 1:21 - "To live is Christ, and to die is gain." No matter how successful I am: being able to graduate, planning one of the biggest events for the year, I fail to realize that I'm a walking zombie - animated, but lifeless. Dead because of my sin. And I need Jesus to live in me and through me. It's something that I've always known ever since I was a child, but I never learn to practice.

I'm broken again, and I realize how limited I am. But it is in this season that I am growing. I swear, I could have earned a master's degree in life lessons by now with the amount of mistakes i'm making.

Don't make the same mistake I made. Never be too busy for God, because He's never too busy for you. And more importantly, never ever leave Jesus out of the picture.